Sometimes...things just stink.
Like the last 36 hours.
Where a certain two year old boy hasn't stopped crying for more than 10 minutes at a time and EVERY little thing sets him off into another fit. I mean, I could ask him he if wants a pony or a big ice scream cone and he would start crying. It's maddening and frustrating.
Or my 7 year old. We've been battling his asthma for close to two months now. He misses school almost weekly and now, after the night in the ER, we find out he has developed pneumonia on top of the asthma.
Or my 1 year old who doesn't like to sleep (although, he makes up for it by looking ridiculously cute while toddling through the house).
So yeah, I put on the happy face a lot around here, especially when out and about. Don't we all? Who wants to listen to whining and complaining all the time? I'd rather laugh.
But sometimes I cry. Long, loud sobs when no one is around to hear them. And that's ok, too, because I'm tired and I struggle to see what God is doing sometimes.
It makes me think of a song we sang in college, back when I was a music major, you might know it.
"Smile though your heart is aching, smile if even though it's breaking, when there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by...Does that make me hypocritical? Probably. I don't know. It's just where I'm at right and I'm learning to be content with it. Well, maybe content isn't the right word. I'm just LEARNING from it. I don't want to be where I'm at right one year from now. I'm hoping that my smile becomes more and more genuine and that the sorrow we have in the "night" will soon turn into joy.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow you'll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile." -Michael Jackson
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